Scared to be Alone Cas x Reader

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel, can you feel my heart?

(Can you feel my heart)

Can you help the hopeless?
Well, I'm begging on my knees
Can you save my bastard soul?
Will you wait for me?

A dreaded day was soon arising that week, weather was poor and a fog blew carelessly passed her face as she stared intensely at the whiteboard ahead of her. The voice of her crap teacher droned throughout the hour, clock ticking at a teasingly slow rate. ____ glanced over at her wrists, the thin and thick cuts decorating her arms and legs. Luckily, she had a green hoodie and black jeans that hid her pain. A rough hand pulled her up by her backpack, swinging her into the wall. By now the teacher had fallen asleep, dragged to sleep by his awful teaching skills. _____ Winchester, being pushed around by bratty bitches that loved to ruin her life.

On the inside, she cursed to their names but on the outside, she was as petrified as a cowering child.
"____ Winchester, faggot alert." This smug and unintelligent comment elected dozens of students.
"P-Please, spare me this once." She whimpered, feeling the sharp heel of the boot collide into her stomach region. Eventually after several punches, kicks and horrible words, the bell alerted everyone and they left her there withering on the floor.
Choking on her own breath, she crawled onto her knees and staggered down the halls on light feet. Her sneakers slid against the cement and the trek home was painfully long.


I'm sorry brothers, so sorry lover
Forgive me father, I love you mother
Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel my heart?
Can you feel my heart?
(Can you feel my heart)


Pushing the door open with much force, ____ fell onto the couch and buried her face into the pillow, ignoring the pleas from Sam to move. Groaning, ___ held her stomach and practically crippled over.
"____, me and Dean are gonna go out, you okay to stay with Cas?" Sam pressed his hand on her shoulder, rubbing it lovingly. Nodding her head, she sat up and gently rubbed her eyes.
"Are you alright?" Dean questioned, buttoning his shirt with ease.
"Grand." ____ muttered sarcastically.
The door slammed and ____ ran to the bathroom, slicing her wrists carelessly, not giving a damn if she hit a vein.
Slice
''You're not good enough.''
Slice
''Go die in a hole you're a parasite.''
Slice
''Anorexic freak, go kill yourself.''
Slice
'Whore.''
Slice.
''Slut.''
Slic-



I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim
 

"____, you okay in there?" Castiel asked, his fist tapping the oak wood. Quickly, she slid her back against the smooth tiles and bit her lip, hiding the razor behind her back.
The door broke down, splinters flickering around everywhere and Castiel's eyes widened as he saw the blood trickling down her frail skin. Fumbling, his hands moved quickly as he held the blood down, reducing the chances of her dying.
"You're lucky I burst that door down." He held her chin up, balancing their gaze evenly. Looking away, ____ felt her eyes prick with tears before said tears trickled down her bloody cheek.
"You don't have to tell me but...why did you do this?" He sighed, pulling her into his lap.


I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim


"I got low, I don't know why I did, I just...did." She eventually let out her explanation of self harm, the guilt washing over her heavily.
"You're really brave." Cas admitted, pulling his trench coat over her shoulders.
"Why?"
Smiling gratefully, she subtly put her head on his shoulder, his fingers stroking her cuts along and tracing them up and down.
Helping her up with care, Cas walked into the living, collapsing onto the couch.
"Everyone is so scared of death, the feeling of a knife piercing them makes them shiver; but you can push through that, that's something I admire." He smiled, his face so close to hers.
"R-Really?" Her breath hitched as he leant in.
"Yes."



I'm scared to get close and I hate being alone
I long for that feeling to not feel at all
The higher I get, the lower I'll sink
I can't drown my demons, they know how to swim

Smashing his lips to hers, her hands intertwined with his and she blushed a flamboyant red. A burst of fierce passion struck as her hands wrapped around his neck and his hands rested against her hip bones, running his hands across the smooth skin.  Carressing her arm, he pulled away from her lips and pressed his against her arm, kissing each, individual cut and smother it in his love.
"You-" kiss.
"Are-" kiss.
"So-" kiss
"Beautiful inside-" kiss.
"And out." kiss.
"And you're mine." His piercing, blue eyes dug into hers, clouded with love. Smiling, she pressed her lips tenderly to his, hands gripping his tie with a strong grip.

(Can you feel my heart)

Can you hear the silence?
Can you see the dark?
Can you fix the broken?
Can you feel, can you feel my heart?



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"Dean, we'll come back later."

"But-"

"You wanna see Angel boy and your sister get intimate?"


"..."

"..."

"Tacobell?"
"Tacobell."

"YOU'RE PAYING!"